When it hurts so Bad......
......why do we continue to engage in situations or relationships that cause us pain. Why do we do things that we know are going to hurt the ones we love the most. Why do we ignore the flashing red lights that warn us that their is danger ahead.Why?
...this pain that I feel is all to familiar. That heaviness of the heart that suffocates you. The feeling of deep blue waves crushing you until you can't breathe. That gut wrenching pain that makes you want to crawl into your own skin and disappear forever...
...I hate this feeling....
Blue Ocean Floor
Forever Mine. Forever Thine. Forever Ours.
A<3D
Friday, October 30, 2015
Sunday, May 24, 2015
Love in the Millennial Era
The older I get and try to navigate my way through life with my family, friends and lover in tow I am beginning to see a pattern amongst the millennials in my inner circle and the way we love in the 21st century. A lot of us grew up with either 2 parents who are still together or eventually divorced, leaving a lasting impression on the way we view and approach relationships.
I recently read an article that talked about how children of divorce view love and relationships in the 21st Century. We tend to love hard and remain guarded because of the realistic fear of our spouse one day leaving us just as we saw within our households as kids.
I myself grew up with parents who were High school sweethearts that grew a part as time went on. For me, it left the impression that no matter how long you are with someone or the history you share, sometimes things just don't work out.
For many millennials this fear is all to real. The fact that we can actually consider someone's feelings besides our own and do that for the rest of our lives praying that one day they won't wake up having changed their minds one day. Talk about pressure! It doesn't help that we live in a society with a I vs. We mentality. The consumption of self-gratification is one that any of us struggle with.
Call me naive, but I still believe in the idea of marriage and loving and accepting someone truly through it all. The idea that when things get hard and they suck that we won't give up on each other. No matter what.
At the end of the day we may be a generation of self-loving, instantly gratified, materialistic, stuck in debt twenty-something's, however we want and desire many of the things that we saw our parents take for granted. Why you may ask? Because at the end of the day it's no better feeling in this world then sharing an intimacy so sacred with someone that truly allows you to live.
❤️
Allyson
Thursday, May 21, 2015
...Quarter Life Crisis...I Think...
This blog is for any woman who is in her late twenties and thinks she may be experiencing a quarter-life crisis. I know what you're thinking. A quarter life crisis. There's already tons of blogs, quizzes, advice columns letting you know that you may or may not be experiencing the big QLC, as I like to call it. But, this is my personal reflection on how I realized that I was in fact having a QLC...
...so earlier this month I celebrated my 27th Birthday. 27. It's still weird to say. Seriously, where did the time ago. Within a blink of an eye I went to and finished college, fell in love, moved away to a new city, began grad school, got engaged, ended it, changed careers, gained independence, found the man of my dreams, and began the process of living my life for me and loving every minute of it. But it wasn't until recently while surfing the social media gamete that is Facebook that I noticed how much life is truly changing around me (I know not the best idea when you're hormonal and in your feelings). People are getting engaged, married, having babies, going on great vacations, building their careers, buying homes, etc... These are the same naive and crazy kids that I knew in High School and College when we didn't have a care in the world and thought we'd be young forever. Boy has that changed! However, change is a part of life and that's a good thing...
...the culmination of my own personal reflection and the reality around me has sent me into a frenzy of WTF am I doing with my life. Now I know some people might say not to compare myself to others and that everything that is meant for you will come in due time. And that's all well and good, but let's just be real for a moment. For those of us who grew up in two parent, middle to upper-middle class households, with educated parents who set the standard for what type of life they expected for us it's hard to sometimes not even consider meeting those expectations, even just a little. Whether it's through your career, establishment of a family through marriage, or educational goals, you want to at least give them 2/3 you know...
...and we won't even approach this whole physical and emotional change that comes with approaching your thirties and this sudden urge to now all of a sudden want to settle down and procreate with another human being...let's just say that's another blog for another day...but hopefully soon...
...all in all if there is anything that I have learned from friends of mine who are older and have experienced this QLC and come out of it, it's that you can't rush the life that God has in store for you. Just enjoy life moments as they happen and learn to revel in the time you have for yourself, because once it's gone it's very hard to get back...so with that I am approaching this thing called a QLC and life with a new acronym, PLL, Pray Live Love, with a promise to myself to pray more, live better, and love hard...
Goodbye Quarter Life Crisis!
~Allyson
...so earlier this month I celebrated my 27th Birthday. 27. It's still weird to say. Seriously, where did the time ago. Within a blink of an eye I went to and finished college, fell in love, moved away to a new city, began grad school, got engaged, ended it, changed careers, gained independence, found the man of my dreams, and began the process of living my life for me and loving every minute of it. But it wasn't until recently while surfing the social media gamete that is Facebook that I noticed how much life is truly changing around me (I know not the best idea when you're hormonal and in your feelings). People are getting engaged, married, having babies, going on great vacations, building their careers, buying homes, etc... These are the same naive and crazy kids that I knew in High School and College when we didn't have a care in the world and thought we'd be young forever. Boy has that changed! However, change is a part of life and that's a good thing...
...the culmination of my own personal reflection and the reality around me has sent me into a frenzy of WTF am I doing with my life. Now I know some people might say not to compare myself to others and that everything that is meant for you will come in due time. And that's all well and good, but let's just be real for a moment. For those of us who grew up in two parent, middle to upper-middle class households, with educated parents who set the standard for what type of life they expected for us it's hard to sometimes not even consider meeting those expectations, even just a little. Whether it's through your career, establishment of a family through marriage, or educational goals, you want to at least give them 2/3 you know...
...and we won't even approach this whole physical and emotional change that comes with approaching your thirties and this sudden urge to now all of a sudden want to settle down and procreate with another human being...let's just say that's another blog for another day...but hopefully soon...
...all in all if there is anything that I have learned from friends of mine who are older and have experienced this QLC and come out of it, it's that you can't rush the life that God has in store for you. Just enjoy life moments as they happen and learn to revel in the time you have for yourself, because once it's gone it's very hard to get back...so with that I am approaching this thing called a QLC and life with a new acronym, PLL, Pray Live Love, with a promise to myself to pray more, live better, and love hard...
Goodbye Quarter Life Crisis!
~Allyson
Sunday, February 22, 2015
...That time of the month...
Hi Guys!
Long time no blog....Just wanted to check in with you guys and update you on my so-called life thus far (ode to Claire Danes and the best show ever from the 90s)...
Anywho, it's that special or dreaded time of the month for me when everything smells, my face look like it's been cooked in Crisco, the only food items I want are greasy hamburgers, salty fries, large amounts of chocolate, and all the dark soda that my poor stomach can tolerate. Along with the many emotions that my hormones have raging through my body, it is truly a HELL of a week...
But with age I have learned to cope with the many symptoms the best way I know how. Giving in to every temptation! :-)
I was surprised to learn earlier in the week while at work that schools no longer provide Menstrual or 1st Period Packs to young girls who may begin their period or have an accident while at school. I found that to be terrible, having been one of those girl who experienced her first period while at school. It was that 'Period Pack' that got me through that first traumatic experience of getting the dreaded "First Period". It just seems that as the years go on many of those things that made out childhood and growing years so special and created moments are dwindling away.
Now I know some of you might say it's just a period. But really, think back to that moment you had your first period and what that was like. All the things that lead up to that moment, during, and after made it special.
As corny as this may sound I can't wait for the day that my daughter comes to me about experiencing her first period and asking me for advice. It's truly one of the things as a part of the mother-daughter relationship I plan to cherish and welcome her to the hell that the rest of us experience! Lol! Sorry guys I had to add some humor.
Share with me in the comments below your first period stories or any hilarious period moments that you've had in life. I'm sure we've all had some funny things to happen while on our period.
Whelp, I'm headed to Cookout to indulge in all things that are greasy and fried.
Have a great Sunday!
~Allyson
Long time no blog....Just wanted to check in with you guys and update you on my so-called life thus far (ode to Claire Danes and the best show ever from the 90s)...
Anywho, it's that special or dreaded time of the month for me when everything smells, my face look like it's been cooked in Crisco, the only food items I want are greasy hamburgers, salty fries, large amounts of chocolate, and all the dark soda that my poor stomach can tolerate. Along with the many emotions that my hormones have raging through my body, it is truly a HELL of a week...
But with age I have learned to cope with the many symptoms the best way I know how. Giving in to every temptation! :-)
I was surprised to learn earlier in the week while at work that schools no longer provide Menstrual or 1st Period Packs to young girls who may begin their period or have an accident while at school. I found that to be terrible, having been one of those girl who experienced her first period while at school. It was that 'Period Pack' that got me through that first traumatic experience of getting the dreaded "First Period". It just seems that as the years go on many of those things that made out childhood and growing years so special and created moments are dwindling away.
Now I know some of you might say it's just a period. But really, think back to that moment you had your first period and what that was like. All the things that lead up to that moment, during, and after made it special.
As corny as this may sound I can't wait for the day that my daughter comes to me about experiencing her first period and asking me for advice. It's truly one of the things as a part of the mother-daughter relationship I plan to cherish and welcome her to the hell that the rest of us experience! Lol! Sorry guys I had to add some humor.
Share with me in the comments below your first period stories or any hilarious period moments that you've had in life. I'm sure we've all had some funny things to happen while on our period.
Whelp, I'm headed to Cookout to indulge in all things that are greasy and fried.
Have a great Sunday!
~Allyson
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
The 'New ' Side Chick
Hi guys!
So earlier last week my blog post was a rant about something I was experiencing in my relationship that I wanted to share with you guys. Some of you who read my rant shared some awesome advice regarding my feelings and what I should do. Earlier this evening my awesome Aunt Pam shared an article from a follower blogger entitled, " The New Side Chick: I Was Her" with regarding being the "side chick" in a relationship with a man who has no intention of continuing a long term relationship with you or even marriage. You are simply as the author puts it, " an appetizer while he waits for his entree.".
Boy oh boy, I must say that the article truly was an eye opener to certain behaviors and attitudes that I have portrayed in previous relationships (and some in my current) that were toxic to me. It put into perspective many of the things it hat we as women experience that are harmful to us within relationships.
I would highly suggest that if you haven't read it yet to. Heck it out and pass it along to any other women that you know who may benefit from it. I have included a link to the website to check it out below.
Thanks for stopping by my blog again guys and let me know what you think about the article in the comment section!
Until next time :-)
The 'New Side Chick
So earlier last week my blog post was a rant about something I was experiencing in my relationship that I wanted to share with you guys. Some of you who read my rant shared some awesome advice regarding my feelings and what I should do. Earlier this evening my awesome Aunt Pam shared an article from a follower blogger entitled, " The New Side Chick: I Was Her" with regarding being the "side chick" in a relationship with a man who has no intention of continuing a long term relationship with you or even marriage. You are simply as the author puts it, " an appetizer while he waits for his entree.".
Boy oh boy, I must say that the article truly was an eye opener to certain behaviors and attitudes that I have portrayed in previous relationships (and some in my current) that were toxic to me. It put into perspective many of the things it hat we as women experience that are harmful to us within relationships.
I would highly suggest that if you haven't read it yet to. Heck it out and pass it along to any other women that you know who may benefit from it. I have included a link to the website to check it out below.
Thanks for stopping by my blog again guys and let me know what you think about the article in the comment section!
Until next time :-)
The 'New Side Chick
Saturday, January 17, 2015
..Relationship rant...I know, I know..
Hi Guys!
This blog is going to be a rant so if you're not interested please exit now because these are my thoughts...
So I'm writing this blog as I lay stretched out across my boyfriends bed, grading papers and surfing the Internet. It's 10:42 at night and I'm here alone because my boyfriend is playing NBA 2K15 on his Xbox One online with some of his friends. BLAH! Seriously I don't think companies had girlfriends in mind when it comes to these game consoles and the amount of time that a significant other spends on it. I would estimate that my boyfriend spends something like 60 hrs a week on this system. 60 HOURS!!! Do you know what you can do with 60 hrs of productivity? Anyway, that's not why I'm here. This blog is about my current relationship rant...As he was conversing with one of his College friends they mentioned him coming to visit them on Cape Cod in the up coming weeks. Now normally this wouldn't be an issue for me within a relationship, but in this particular case I have a few.
1. Couples Vacation/Trip: Since we began dating almost a year ago we have yet to plan or take a couples trip. Every time I make any mention of planning one or at least taking a weekend trip he quickly shuts it down and gives me what he call "reasons" (or excuses in my book) as to why we can't go. Something as simple as traveling to Atlanta for a weekend trip is quickly given a judgement of no and case closed. However, when friends mention a trip he is eager to make the trip and very upbeat about it. An attitude he doesn't express when it comes to time spent with me.
Whether he knows it or not (as I have attempted to express) it really hurts my feelings to know (or at least assume from his conversation) that time spent with friends making memories instead of creating new ones with me is considered "more worthwhile".
2. Quality Time: I currently reside in Charlotte, NC while my boyfriend lives in Winston-Salem, NC, so we only are able to see each other during the weekends. I find myself traveling to Winston-Salem expecting to spend quality time with my bf. However I think our ideas of quality time are vastly different. He feels like me just being here make for quality time, whereas I would like to go out and do something. I spend Mon-Fri working and going home in the evenings. The weekends are made for living (as the O'Jays would say)! Not sitting in the house listening to him play NBA2K15.
...Now I know some of you may say that I am to blame for this because I am not voicing how I feel to my boyfriend in an effective manner, but I truly beg to differ. How many times do you have to tell a man something before he gets it. We're all adults and intelligent enough to know when the person we love is expressing true feelings or concern. However, if you are not in the space to accept it then change will never occur....
...In no way is the purpose of this blog to bash my boyfriend or paint a negative picture of him but blogging for me is a channel to express my thoughts and the way I am feeling on the inside. I love him dearly and see us spending our future together, however I need for him to hear me on this...
...So what I think I'll do during Pillow Talk this evening is truly try to convey to him the feelings that I have and pray to God that a part of him really hears where my concern and feelings are coming from...
If any of you can relate or have any sound advice to share please comment below.
Thanks for listening to my rant guys, and I promise the next blog won't be so emotionally charged! Now, I'm going to go treat myself to a Snickers Milkshake from Cookout because hell, I deserve it!
Happy Saturday Night! =)
P.S. Thought I'd add a photo of my favorite guy below. <3
-Allyson
This blog is going to be a rant so if you're not interested please exit now because these are my thoughts...
So I'm writing this blog as I lay stretched out across my boyfriends bed, grading papers and surfing the Internet. It's 10:42 at night and I'm here alone because my boyfriend is playing NBA 2K15 on his Xbox One online with some of his friends. BLAH! Seriously I don't think companies had girlfriends in mind when it comes to these game consoles and the amount of time that a significant other spends on it. I would estimate that my boyfriend spends something like 60 hrs a week on this system. 60 HOURS!!! Do you know what you can do with 60 hrs of productivity? Anyway, that's not why I'm here. This blog is about my current relationship rant...As he was conversing with one of his College friends they mentioned him coming to visit them on Cape Cod in the up coming weeks. Now normally this wouldn't be an issue for me within a relationship, but in this particular case I have a few.
1. Couples Vacation/Trip: Since we began dating almost a year ago we have yet to plan or take a couples trip. Every time I make any mention of planning one or at least taking a weekend trip he quickly shuts it down and gives me what he call "reasons" (or excuses in my book) as to why we can't go. Something as simple as traveling to Atlanta for a weekend trip is quickly given a judgement of no and case closed. However, when friends mention a trip he is eager to make the trip and very upbeat about it. An attitude he doesn't express when it comes to time spent with me.
Whether he knows it or not (as I have attempted to express) it really hurts my feelings to know (or at least assume from his conversation) that time spent with friends making memories instead of creating new ones with me is considered "more worthwhile".
2. Quality Time: I currently reside in Charlotte, NC while my boyfriend lives in Winston-Salem, NC, so we only are able to see each other during the weekends. I find myself traveling to Winston-Salem expecting to spend quality time with my bf. However I think our ideas of quality time are vastly different. He feels like me just being here make for quality time, whereas I would like to go out and do something. I spend Mon-Fri working and going home in the evenings. The weekends are made for living (as the O'Jays would say)! Not sitting in the house listening to him play NBA2K15.
...Now I know some of you may say that I am to blame for this because I am not voicing how I feel to my boyfriend in an effective manner, but I truly beg to differ. How many times do you have to tell a man something before he gets it. We're all adults and intelligent enough to know when the person we love is expressing true feelings or concern. However, if you are not in the space to accept it then change will never occur....
...In no way is the purpose of this blog to bash my boyfriend or paint a negative picture of him but blogging for me is a channel to express my thoughts and the way I am feeling on the inside. I love him dearly and see us spending our future together, however I need for him to hear me on this...
...So what I think I'll do during Pillow Talk this evening is truly try to convey to him the feelings that I have and pray to God that a part of him really hears where my concern and feelings are coming from...
If any of you can relate or have any sound advice to share please comment below.
Thanks for listening to my rant guys, and I promise the next blog won't be so emotionally charged! Now, I'm going to go treat myself to a Snickers Milkshake from Cookout because hell, I deserve it!
Happy Saturday Night! =)
P.S. Thought I'd add a photo of my favorite guy below. <3
-Allyson
Friday, November 28, 2014
What are you Thankful for?
Hi Loves,
I hope that each and every one of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving full of my favorite 3 F words: Food.Family.Football. As we all took time on yesterday to fellowship with the ones we love and closes to us I just wanted to write this blog after my own reflection of the things I am truly thankful and grateful for. I think from time to time we have a tendency to forget the things that are most important to us and that we take for granted. It is important to not only on Thanksgiving, but everyday of the year remember to thank God for the many blessings that he bestows upon us and those we love. So! In honor of the spirit of Thanksgiving and this Season of Giving that we are entering into I have decided to share what I am thankful for and images of the people I am most thankful for. I hope you enjoy! =)
1. Good Health.
2. Family
~Besos
I hope that each and every one of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving full of my favorite 3 F words: Food.Family.Football. As we all took time on yesterday to fellowship with the ones we love and closes to us I just wanted to write this blog after my own reflection of the things I am truly thankful and grateful for. I think from time to time we have a tendency to forget the things that are most important to us and that we take for granted. It is important to not only on Thanksgiving, but everyday of the year remember to thank God for the many blessings that he bestows upon us and those we love. So! In honor of the spirit of Thanksgiving and this Season of Giving that we are entering into I have decided to share what I am thankful for and images of the people I am most thankful for. I hope you enjoy! =)
1. Good Health.
2. Family
3. Friends
4. Love
5. Personal and Spiritual Growth
~Besos
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